A lens for approaching a shiny, brand new year…

At the beginning of 2016, I engaged in an exercise to identify a ‘Word for the Year.’ To essentially choose a word that would be my theme for the year, that would serve as my guiding intention for the next 12 months.

Snowy Bridge in Winter Forest Setting (Photo by Lorenzo Manera from Pexels)

I was in the process of completing yoga teacher training, and little did I know at that time, would shortly begin the process of transitioning out of forensic work and into the creation of a clinical therapy practice.

Some words presented themselves as options easily and with the comfort of familiarity: strength, perseverance, achieve, strive, confidence. (These words are themes I’d been working on my entire life, and while comfortable and familiar to me, may not be at all so for you.).

But, I knew I had found my ‘Word for the Year’ when I stumbled upon it … and released a loud groan: ALLOW.

To allow: to give necessary time and opportunity for, or to make it possible for something to be done or to happen.

Ugh… I knew it was the right word because I felt comfortable in the realm of making a plan, then executing on that plan, making decisions, taking action. But, I was in a place where engaging in those strategies would not move me forward. I was in a place of uncertainty. I was unsure what was to come next, what I even wanted to do next, and to approach it in a decisive manner, without all of the information, would be to deprive myself of the opportunity to consider possibilities I was unable to even imagine at that time.

So, I needed to ‘allow.’ I needed to let go of control. I needed to give necessary time and opportunity for the next steps to reveal themselves … to provide me with the information to create the plan, and to then take action.

It was the right call. I did not have the ability or knowledge at that time to create a plan that would lead me to this amazing life that I’m living right now. My own thoughts and goals, my own limited lens, prohibited me from dreaming of, even conceiving of, the life I am currently living.

Let me say that again: the life I’m living now was inconceivable to the person I was at the beginning of 2016. If I had tried to plan, decide, or control my path at that time, I would have been limited by what I didn’t know was possible. The path I took, the life I’m now living, would not have occurred to me as an option at that time. I had to allow for time and experience in order for that pathway to appear.

I joke that I if someone, in 2016, told me, in 2026, I’d be a therapist (and happy about it!) and living in Connecticut, I would have taken out a loan, and a significant one at that, to bet against any of this being even remotely possible.

This process of allowing has turned out to be a pivotal process in my life. ‘To allow’ has turned out to not just be my Word for 2016, but one of my Mantras for Life.

I encourage you to consider where you are on the spectrum of CONTROLLING <—-> ALLOWING, to examine what energy might best serve you this year.

Also consider engaging in a ‘Word for the Year’ exercise and determine your own Word as a guiding intention for 2016.

Other resources to approach the new year:

I wrote a prior blog post - Getting Unstuck - Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail - several years ago, which provides a different framework for goal setting at the start of the year.

I find that Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, Big Magic, is an excellent exploratory companion for the concept of allowing. I’ve recommended this book countless times.

And, I’m, right now, enjoying Ryan Holiday’s book, Discipline is Destiny, which may give you a hint as to my guiding intention for 2026. Ryan has a series of books on the Stoic Virtues. This book is my first in the series, and I’m finding it grounding and inspiring.

If this message resonates, let me know! I’d love to hear from you! I read and respond to every message (yes, really!).

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Please note: this newsletter is disseminated for informational and educational purposes only and should not, in any way, be construed as medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. Please be certain to check with your physician or personal therapist with regard to whether these suggestions are appropriate for your individual situation.